Are You Dissing Me?: What Animals Really Think

By Simon Winheld

A hippo concerns that her MFA is completely lifeless. A cardinal has roommate difficulties. A hummingbird is raring to hitch a social community. A bush child teeters at the area (You wanna throw down?!) the following for the 1st time are the innermost recommendations of our bushy and feathered acquaintances, who—it is ultimately revealed—humorously proportion an identical anxieties, frustrations, and preoccupations as we do. no matter if it is a raccoon fretting approximately his judgmental neighbors, a buffalo impatiently expecting his dumplings, or a sloth considering a occupation in stand-up comedy, every one colorfully illustrated critter captures a second of recent flux—and jointly they bring an irresistibly humorous portrait of a state either wild and amusingly commonly used.

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Like... a LOT of porn. You con't fart after which blame another person if you are the single humans round. i am So attractive it truly is ridiculous. simply ridiculous. Is it gross if it truly is your ... moment ... cousin? My therapist stated i am able to make neighbors !!! i am gonna subscribe to a Social community !!! I want my surgeon would not use phrases like "boner" and "gnads. " I used to be there approximately my again! My roommate is, like, Such an A-hole. cease posting images of your child already! We get it! You made a baby!! You had intercourse together with your husband and created a toddler! I joined an improv classification! you could Say what ever you wish in these position !!! Adam feels like he is this sort of great man, yet you recognize he is simply sittin' over ther, judgin! glance: do not rub my leg, carry eye touch for, like, minutes... after which raise your boyfriend! I bought stuff to do, woman. yes, your twenties finish after which suddenly beer promises knockers. Yep. he is masturbating. if these dumplings do not get the following in 5 mins, a persons qonna, die. My MFA is completely lifeless. i am gonna commence a thrash steel band!! test it out: "Hot hearth! Yooooou Can journey at the flaaaame! Hoi- hearth! / ... sizzling fire!! sizzling FIRE!!! " I'm switching to gum, reason mints do not do shit. information flash: If i am buying dinner, it is reason i suppose you are unmarried! ... Are you... Are you dissmq me eleven I met a girl on-line. it isn't perfect, but... probably if I Comb my hair this way... HOTFIIIRW! I simply stumbled on Vietnamese nutrients! My female friend is anxious approximately becoming her mother. &CA+ Iner A mother is scorching! i think like shoving a few childrens. You... You wanna throw down? i'm so freakin' excessive instantaneously. I by no means get laid. A^. t\ gotta. begin consuming higher. i feel "I'm gonna hand over my activity and try out Stand-up And than i used to be like: n "No, chook legs! " Get it? I suggest, i am beautiful hilarious I received laid. How do you definitely understand whilst goat cheese has long past undesirable? Am I falling down? Jeff acknowledged previous that i used to be racist. i'm T so no longer a racist! My cousin ate a complete. bag of these mini cheese wheels after which had a seizure. it is all a bit fuzzy... yet i believe i used to be ejected from a marriage final evening. ... Yep. Shoot. Thaaat... waaaa... ... me. Oof I higher make a few cell calls. Sorry approximately the racket. we've got been creating a lot of whoopee. There are such a lot of issues i will not unsee... My female friend retains spending cash we do not- have I'm like, "Baby, you don't want one other shirt! what percentage blouses do you need?! " I did't do Shit at the present time. I hate whilst i am on the video clips and a few big-headed doofus sits in entrance of me. i am like "Dang it method u me, man?! " but then I simply stare at this head and picture my very own motion picture! i am 3O and that i nonetheless doh't have a boyfriend. i am at that lousy peak the place if girls put on heels, they're taller than me. okay, not more Strip golf equipment or qluten.... good, qluten besides. whilst i used to be more youthful, Mama-told me to "Stay clear of these nasty boys! " yet these days? I do what i would like! One time I bought over fifty "likes" for something I published. I nonetheless give it some thought. i presumed of shopping for weed From a type of dispensaries, yet it sounds as if you must get a notice.

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