Yoga Bitch: One Woman's Quest to Conquer Skepticism, Cynicism, and Cigarettes on the Path to Enlightenment

By Suzanne Morrison

What occurs while a coffee-drinking, cigarette-smoking, steak-eating twenty-five-year-old atheist comes to a decision it's time to get in contact together with her non secular aspect? now not what you’d expect…
while Suzanne Morrison comes to a decision to commute to Bali for a two-month yoga retreat, she wishes not anything greater than to be remodeled from a twenty-five-year-old with a crippling worry of demise into her captivating yoga instructor, Indra—a lady who turns out to have came across all of it: love, self, and God.
yet issues don’t move particularly as anticipated. as soon as in Bali, she reveals that her cherished yoga instructor and all of her yogamates get up each morning to drink a wide, steaming mug…of their very own urine. Sugar is a mortal sin. Spirits inhabit kitchen home equipment. And the extra she attempts to discover her greater self, the extra she faces her cynical, egomaniacal, cigarette-, wine-, and chocolate-craving lower self.
Yoga complain chronicles Suzanne’s hilarious adventures and misadventures as an aspiring yogi who may be just a little too skeptical to drink the Kool-Aid. yet alongside the way in which she discovers that no religious attempt is wasted; whether her yoga retreat doesn’t flip her into the gorgeously calm, clever believer she hopes it's going to, it does plant seeds that proceed to blossom in impressive methods over the following decade of her life.

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Now not so talented with the kids. Later I’ve packed up my issues. How unusual to work out my suitcase so plump and the armoire so naked. Oh, yet i'm watching for being domestic. To laundry and faucet water and lipstick and flicks with my sister. whereas i used to be packing, i discovered the Sailor’s novel. humorous, I’ve rarely considered it within the previous couple of weeks. All of my desires were of Jonah. I’m so excited to get domestic and booklet my flight to big apple. The Sailor is simply a pal. It’s great to have pals you’re interested in, i guess. Makes you are feeling alive. specifically whilst you’ve created this concept that their soul is like yours, that you just either yearn for a few form of fact. I’d guess if we bought too shut, we’d be dissatisfied. larger to depart it unfulfilled. We’re off to the Jazz Café for one final evening of debauchery sooner than we graduate. candy Jesus, it’s virtually over. If that isn’t an excuse for a bit wildness, I don’t understand what's. might five My yogamates and i've graduated, and Indra and Lou are married. i think like I’ve long gone cross-eyed. Let’s see, what’s the tally for at the present time? final category, final milkshakes (not within the related sitting, I’m attempting to be strong after all), one commencement, one marriage ceremony, and one slim break out. the difficulty all started final evening, on the Jazz Café, whilst i attempted to befriend SuZen and Marianne. i wished to finish our retreat as buddies. additionally, they have been smoking, and that i desired to be close to smoking if I couldn’t take pleasure in it myself. (It used to be surprising to work out yogis with cigarettes of their fingers. stunning in an effective way. ) besides, the singer final evening used to be a girl who sang like she used to be Ella Fitzgerald reincarnated. This led us to speak about jazz song and our favourite singers, and that i advised them a couple of Rodgers and Hart track I’ve constantly enjoyed. SuZen is pushy. the moment i discussed the track, she began harassing me to invite the band to play backup so i may practice it for the full membership. Um, no. That used to be the very last thing i wished to do. She wouldn’t permit it pass until eventually I informed them I’d sing it for them at the means domestic. The music is going like this: I’ve married many males, a ton of them simply because i used to be unfaithful to none of them simply because I got rid of each of them to maintain my love alive! The singer is going directly to describe how she murders every one of her husbands once they begin to trouble her. It’s a superb music. What girls needed to do earlier than feminism, correct? So I sang it for them as we walked domestic, and SuZen went loopy. She inspiration it used to be the main hilarious track she’d heard in her whole lifestyles. “You should still sing it the next day to come for Indra’s marriage ceremony. ” she stated. “She’ll chuckle her ass off! ” “I don’t know,” I acknowledged. I didn’t imagine it used to be acceptable. a marriage is more or less a major thing—I could imagine my academics wouldn’t wish me to make a shaggy dog story of it. I advised SuZen that i'll educate it to her in order that she might practice it, if she concept Indra would favor it quite a bit. That made extra sense—SuZen is certainly one of Indra’s oldest buddies, a person who might break out with an irreverent marriage ceremony delivering. “No,” she acknowledged, “you need to do it, you’ve obtained it nailed!

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