You Don't Know Me, But ...: A Footballer's Life

By Clarke Carlisle

In the summertime of 2012, Clarke Carlisle, after 15 years as a certified footballer, was once with out a agreement and brooding about if he nonetheless had a destiny within the video game. With a starting to be media profile, because of his appearances on query Timeand an acclaimed documentary on racism in soccer, there have been lots of different possibilities, yet he was firm to provide it one other cross. at the beginning signing for York urban ahead of relocating to Northampton city, Carlisle used to be quickly again within the thick of the motion, with a date at Wembley looking forward to him on the finish of the season. because the occasions of the 12 months opened up, Carlisle appeared again at his occupation, from his early days enjoying for England Under-21s, via career-threatening accidents and a conflict with alcohol difficulties, to a past due arrival within the most desirable League with Burnley. As chairman of the PFA, Carlisle is a much-respected determine within the video game; his uncooked honesty and penetrating insights will make readers view the sport, and people who play it, in a complete new mild.

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It was once a section embarrassing! ’ No sympathy there, then. Gem had no comprehension of soccer and the significance of it to me as a participant, or perhaps to a soccer fan. She grew up in a home that had 0 curiosity within the online game, and this used to be her first foray into my international. i ponder if she ever rues the fateful day. I drank a few extra. i began to maneuver past numb and right into a different region. I cherished this sector. It used to be person who made me consider as if I didn’t care if she’s embarrassed approximately me, simply because i used to be going to get Gem and make her my lady. tomorrow the entire unfavorable emotions got here dashing again, and so they introduced with them a couple of extra: disappointment, loss, embarrassment, disgrace, guilt and failure. i wanted to escape from those emotions, and quick. My elixir wasn’t distant. once we again to Shepherd’s Bush I received instantly at the sauce. It lined me in a cloak of invincibility, in a spot the place i couldn't be harmed simply because I didn’t provide a flying fuck. It used to be striking. I didn’t are looking to take this cloak off, on no account, so I drank for the whole lot of the summer time 2003. to claim that these 5 - 6 weeks are hazy will be a lie. For whatever to be hazy, it signifies that you will have sight of it however it is out of concentration or blurred. i've got 0 recollection. i couldn't inform you the place I went, what occurred, with whom or why. All I bear in mind doing is leaving my residence with my pockets and my passport, simply in case. I by some means pronounced again to education on time and commenced to come again into the regime recreation. This used to be while the second one occasion happened which, coupled with the rapacious urge for food that I had obtained over the summer time, gave me the interior set off to lose regulate. My ally from college, Andy Jones, have been medically discharged from the Paras as a result of sciatica and he was once now searching for someplace to stay. by means of now, I had after all break up up with Racheal and that i desired to movement out of where that we had rented jointly. So Andy and that i shacked up within the excellent bachelor pad in Chiswick. We had determined to take the valuables ahead of we even observed it, in simple terms since it was once on Beavor Grove. quantity 2 Beavor Grove – it was once an grand handle for 2 younger males at the prowl. so as to have a good time, we made up our minds to head out each evening for 2 weeks. It was once early pre-season, in order lengthy as i used to be nonetheless putting in place the paintings day after today then I felt it wouldn’t topic an excessive amount of. Andy didn’t but have a task, so we met early afternoon each day on the Hart. we might then continue to drink till final, whereon we might head into the West finish till the early hours. i have to have equipped a big tolerance point in the summertime, simply because i discovered that i may drink copious quantities of alcohol: pints, photographs, cocktails, consistently culminating in a bottle or of fizz – i may positioned the lot away. What used to be a brand new discovery was once that i may do this and nonetheless educate the following day. i assumed i actually was once invincible. My crew of acquaintances at the present weren’t different footballers. I had learnt via now that during order to take care of a degree of privateness (or secrecy), I needed to socialise outdoors of soccer circles.

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